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Jingle bells!

Happy Christmas Eve, everyone!

I'm so excited! 

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee x

Today you can talk about what you want in a way that is uncharacteristically detached from your emotions. This can be helpful as you struggle to deal with your most intimate relationships. Even the greatest surprise won't catch you off guard, for you are expecting the unexpected. Still, your personal truth, as it reaches the surface, may be somewhat shocking. Nevertheless, get it out into the open while you can.

I love this lot. I missed them like fucking whoa.


I kinda forgot what I made this for.
I'm all for being open-minded, but this is too much.
I don't really know what i've been thinking recently, but i'm up for a change.

Only public posts from now on are gonna be pictures and other shit I need to share with the world.
Other than that ::

Today was well funny, but it doesn't really matter.

I'm in a bit of a bad mood. I don't know what to do that'll make it any easier. Not that there's much I could do. It's been over a month & i'm getting sick. I've been getting the most awful headaches and everything I do, i'm thinking about it. Everywhere I go, nomatter why or who with, I can't not think about it. I haven't had a night where I haven't woken up and thought about it, then checked the clock and realised i've only been asleep for 2 hours.

I'm actually sick to death of it. It's stupid. I'm such an idiot.

THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING THERE FFS. It was most likely my fucking imagination.

Christ, what the fuck.

I really need to get wrecked again.

Fuuuck x

"Every single night in bed, a black cross says perhaps you're getting better.
I'd like to thank you for your efforts to promote what really matters.
Whenever you're about to fall, remember this: it's not a newsflash.
Don't pretend to know it all, but go ahead, call it a cocoon crash"

K's Choice are amazing.

I've lost my inhaler, so for the past 3 days, I haven't seen an easy breath.

It's weird how missing someone makes you like them so much more.
I love my friends, they're so great.
I wish I saw TCW more.

Hm, I finally got my felt tip pens. =)

I'm overdue a decent night's sleep. I don't see that happening any time soon.
It's annoying the way there's always so much to think about, so you can't sleep.
But you can't concentrate, because you're tired, because you couldn't sleep.
Catch 22 or what?

I'm not usually one for listening to Bring Me The Horizon but i'm in a deadly strange mood.

I fucking hate British weather.
This morning, we woke up at 9.30 in Libby's blue hut at the end of her garden & it was baking hot.
Then again at 11 & it was still so hot.
We had breakfast, wondered round the garden in our hotpants & strap-tops, deciding it was alright, but far too cold to go in the pool.
Then got dressed & it was still about a million degrees.
Get home, wait an hour for Ty to bring round the rubber rings and by the time i'm outside, the suns gone in & there's a black cloud.
Of course, after suffering from heat for about a million hours, I was determined to go in the pool.
So I got on a rubber ring & tried to avoid touching water.
It was so bloody cold, but I was tired, so I stayed there, floating about for an hour or so..
I think maybe the weather is against me.

Edited a photo I took at Panic! & made it an icon.

I'm gonna go get myself some ice-cream & settle down to watch Romeo & Juliet! =] x

Dance, party.. mass destruction!

I just tried plugging my Zen into my computer.
It's charging now, so my life is back!! :D

It's about time the holidays started. I've had a really good first week.
Lots of pictures and things to say, really.]

The last Friday, we went home at 12.45, got changed & went into town. Me & Jes met up with Sak and then Izzy, Jazz & Kate. We then all mooched down to the beach via le gardens. It was loads of fun, we went in the sea. Saw 2 fat, gay men being lovey-dovey.. umm =/. Heh, then me & Jes went back up, saw Fab & Dean & 2 randomers briefly, then went and saw Emily & Zara. Went back & we all packed up. Then me, Izzy & Jes hung around town, waited for Zohreh and we met up with her, Lisa, Vicky, Gemma & Tash. Some of them went off, we waited for Tayler, then went down the beach all together. We had to go a long way round cuz police were checking bags. Then we had a BBQ! It was so funny. Burgers weren't too bad, but the sausages were.. quite burned, haha. Later on, we threw them at certain people in the sea (cant remember who it was exactly). We all got a bit drunk, smoked some spliffs and had a huuuge laugh. Then some of us ran to see Fab and me & Tayler ended up missing the fireworks cuz  we were running the opposite direction. Hmm yeah.
But basically, ace night! (Y)

Saturday was Kate's party.
We went shopping before @ CP & there was a fat ass storm, then we saw Sak, so we all decided to get a joint present for Kate. So we got her a bag with looooads of stuff in it, like CDs and a DVD and make up & accessories and that.
Then, went to her party. Luckily, the storm had cleared up really well and it was quite sunny. It was a dead fun party. Huuuge bouncy castle & we ate loads of lush food and that. :D
Then everyone else left & the people left of TCW went to Tesco, got food and stuff, then went back to Kate's.
We messed about for a while and then went out and had some fireworks! I lit one, so I felt all big and responsible =p Then we slept in a tent. 5 of us ended up in a section made for 2/3 people, which was funny. Becci is cuddly! Hahaha.

Went home the next day & was tired as hell.

Tuesday/Wednesday, went to the beach with Izzy, Jes & Ella. Then stayed @ Jes'
Then another day we went to the beach or something with Tayler & Jes & Ella. I can't really remember. =/

Thursday, hung with Zara, Josh, James, Izzy, Ruby & Tayler. Hah, a fair amount happened actually. Later on, this kid called Rufio came and sat with us & was telling us how he's basically travelled round for the past 3 years or something. He seemed nice enough and that. Then Ruby brought her 2 cousins back, who were nice n stuff. Some weird guy who looked all trampy came & sat next to us and was full on hitting on Ruby. He only had like 2 teeth =| Then some other gross guy came over, then the Rufio kid again. It was weird. Why do we always get approached by weird men?! Bahaha.
Oh man yeah, me & Zara tried poppers. That was rather funny. We did them all evening aswell, silly fooo's!

Yesterday, did the same, just hung with loads more people instead. James bought us poppers. Then we all went to the fireworks. Gutted at one thing that almost ruined the night, but everything else was dead fun. People made me happy. I met lots of dead nice people. Then we left @ 11.
Nice first week!

Next week better be ace aswell liiiike!

Oh man, Bee is making me full on die. She's ace.
I'm still in my jammies. =]

I can still want it and be happy.
So I think that means i'm over it.
Friends is cool with me.

I love Kasey Chambers.
She's a full on beast of a singer. x

My friends are the most important things to me.
I'm concentrating on them, like I told myself and I told someone else.
Me and Kate decided to make TCW scrap books.
We're all writing and drawing and putting pictures in them.
I like mine.

Tomorrow, i'm going to skl, coming home with Jes.
We're gonna get ready then go to town and meet up with TCW.
Maybe see Fab quickly first.
Then beach or gardens with TCW.
Maybe meet up with 9.4, cuz they're picnicing a la gardens.
Then me, Izzy & Jes are off to Southbourne to meet Zohreh, Tayler, Vicky, Lisa + whoever else is coming that I don't know.
Then we're gonna chill, drink & smoke abit of shiz and go watch the fireworks from the beach.

A whole day that's gonna be full of my real friends.
Not people who are my friends because it's convenient.

Then Saturday, it's Kate's birthday.
Bouncy castle & pirates.
Sleeping in a tent.
It's gonna be a laugh.

I'm helping myself in one way.
And i'm enjoying myself aswell.
Shame that I can't stop myself thinking.
Maybe i'll become a Buddhist and start meditating?
I don't think I could though.
Silences are too funny to handle.
But back to the point.
Yeah, I keep thinking about it.
Luckily, by Sunday, it'll all go away.
I don't know how long for.
A week or two maybe?
Then I guess things'll get worse.
Or maybe i'll be over it by then?

It sucks to see your friends so desperate for something that they'll go to extreme lengths to get it.
They end up hurting themselves and even then, they won't admit it.

I'm worried about quite a lot of people at the moment.
Strange, since I could easily wander round in my own big bubble, worrying about myself.

I'm going to sleep.
I'm not gonna get a good nights worth until Sunday/Monday night, I feel.. x

I've gotta stop living in my head.
Seeing things that aren't there.
Thinking too much into things.
Thinking too much of things.
Expecting too much of things.
Expecting too much of people.
Surviving on false hope and white lies.

She's nicer and prettier than me.

I can eat as much cheap chocolate I got in Spain as I want now.
I've got nobody to lose weight for.
Though, apparently on holiday, I did.
I can't even be arsed anymore, tbh.
I'm not fat, and i'm not anorexic.
So I guess it's alright. 

I learned to play Third Eye Blind - Slow Motion on the piano.
Well, I guessed chords and watched videos of people playing it. 
I think I picked it up pretty well considering i've never been taught how to play the piano.
That's my focus from now on.
Music and friends.. and my hair.
Well don't need anything else. x